Germinating

Spring has pulled me outside. It has lulled me away from my books, my paper and even my computer...yes. I don't regret it, but last night I was beginning to feel a little sensory overload...too much noice, too much touch, too much busy....too little shhhh, too little deep breathes, too little deep thought and free writing. When I get too busy I tend to neglect the little shoots pushing through the soil like this year's new peonies...reminding me they were there under the surface the whole time. I was too busy enjoying the new digging, the new planting...the anticipation of new things. Then the old pushed through. I would have initially compared this old stuff to weeds needing to be pulled...because we all have some of that in our lives. But after a moment's reflection I quickly, sharply realized that these underlying feelings that keep resurfacing, in spite of the pain they cause me, in spite of my first inclination to pull them like invading weeds, with patience and quiet inner work will bring a beautiful, fragrant blossom to my life. I will let my heart expand and love big...and love truly. I will learn to be truly here for my dear ones. I will open fully and vibrant like the peonies I now anticipate with joy in my garden. I will embrace that which must grow. This is my life, my moment is now....and now...and now...."dwelling in this moment, it is a wonderful moment"....it is the only moment.