Palpable Life and Bungee Jumping

I am absolutely fascinated with life--with the experience of it. Not that I am one who lives for high thrills like sky-diving, bungee jumping, eating hot peppers or anything having to do with barrels and waterfalls. Pursuing experience and just showing up are two different things. My main goal is to possess an inner-presence to my own life and to really see the people around me. It means walking slowly, developing an awareness and sensitivity to life.

Stop for just a moment and let yourself just be; silent, still, aware. You'll feel it--palpable life. Let all the other distractions and perceptions drop away for just a moment and become centered on your own being and you will realize that this is more real than the hard wood or carpet pressing against the soles of your feet, more real than the chair beneath you. This is what remains when everything else is gone.

This presence is the truest you, the you aware of Spirit, connected to the Divine. Usually we move so quickly, so preoccupied that we bare no resemblance to our true selves. We are driven and defined by quirks of personality shaped by genetics and environment, yet still imbued with this spiritual self, often squelched by layers of what I like to call "me-ness."

The 'me-ness' is Ruthie. Sometimes I like my 'me-ness', I think she is cute and funny and quirky and clever, soulful and smart. Sometimes I do not like my 'me-ness', because I see that she has a tendency to be lazy, selfish and impatient and too worried about perceptions. Then I fall into that trap of self-loathing and beat myself up for not being a better me.

But if I'm quiet enough, some gentle, Inner-Nudging will push at my pity-filled heart. This is when I remember grace. Divine grace is easy--thank God. Learning to be graceful with ourselves is not. This is the moment when my spirit takes my 'me-ness' by the hand and strokes my worried head. This is when I step back and grant myself compassion, love myself for the silly fledgling I am and open my arms to Grace. I smile and shake my head at my own youthfulness and remind myself that I'm still growing and that is good. In fact, it's a little bit like bungee-jumping.

Life. What a thrill.

Thankful Thursday: blog deficit and everyone

I probably should be in the kitchen right now washing dishes, which are legion. After a morning of errands and snow flurries, all I want to do is get my little ones a warm meal and have some quiet time, reading and writing and sitting.

The 30 posts in 30 days experiment has been interesting. Between both blogs, I have been posting fairly consistently, but certainly not everyday! No pressure, though. One thing I have noticed is that I am definitely more concerned with worthwhile content than posting everyday. Perhaps my enthusiasm has waned or maybe I've just found a better way.

The past several months have been an interesting journey into authenticity...something I definitely want to explore on a deeper level. My writing outside of the blogosphere has evolved and pulled me in. Other artists and relationships have been an increasing inspiration. I am discovering more about myself and the fascinating connections within humanity as a whole, how we communicate, learn, grow together and from each other, how we all need each other.

One of the most beautiful quotes I have read on the topic lately is from Allison Mack's Blog:

“Compassion is the emotional glue that keeps you rooted in the universality of the human experience, as it connects you to your essence and to the essence of those around you. It is the act of opening your heart”

What a pressing role compassion plays in the expansion and maturing of the human soul. How deeply the connection and empathy we feel toward others effects us individually and as a whole, finding that our inward experiences are not so different, finding that whatever our earthly existence, the essence of our being relates deeply with the experience of others, even in our vast differences. This compassion, this connection, could change the world.

For the Beauty of the Earth