Saying Goodbye

Tuesday, January 3, my Grandma passed away. She was 84 years old, with a family of 4 daughters, 22 grandchildren, 40 great-grand children and even a few great-great grandchildren. My sister Sarah wrote a lovely post about our Grandmother over at her blog, Finding Time. But I have to add my thoughts and memories as well.

Grandma lived the sort of life that leaves a lot of stories behind...really great stories. When my family and I visited Grandma, particularly the last few times we were able to spend with her, we made it a point to ask questions and draw out some of these wonderful memories and the history of her life.

Here are some of my favorite stories and a few of my own memories of Grandma and Grandpa:

As a teenager at a Christmas party, Grandma noticed Grandpa sitting under the mistletoe, plopped herself on his lap and gave him a kiss. Grandpa was 18, Grandma, 16, when Grandpa came to visit Grandma for lunch at school. He proposed, "Betty, let's go get married." Grandma only insisted that she go home and change into a different dress. It was April 1st, 1937. Walter and Betty were married. Months later they announced their nuptuals simply by leaving their marriage license on the kitchen counter for Grandma's mother to find. My mother was born in 1939, then a set of twin girls and another little sister followed.

Grandpa later became a builder. Grandma earned her real estate license and worked along side him. Grandpa built the whole housing developement where he also built a home for Grandma and his girls...the house we all know as "Grandma's house." They welcomed so many into their home, friends, family and even strangers. In the 1970's they opened their home to a family of refugees from Vietnam. The Pham's became a part of our family, too.

Grandpa also loved to fly. In their little plane they would travel all over the country with friends. Grandpa took groups of disabled young people for plane rides. He would also take grandchildren for wonderful joyrides in his plane! I only remember flying with Grandpa one time. Grandpa passed away when I was seven. His memory was always a strong presence at Grandma's house, though. His beloved little cat, Nemo, wondered that house for years after Grandpa was gone. Airplane mobiles hung in the back office, a constant reminder of Grandpa's love for flight. Momentos from Grandma and Grandpa's world travels were displayed throughout the house. We grandchildren were always anxious to see what treasures they had returned with for us. I always loved looking at a picture that my mother had hung on our wall at home of Grandma and Grandpa posing side by side in front of the Sphinx in Egypt.

After Grandpa died, Grandma, ever faithful to her Walter, never remarried, but lived for her daughters and grandchildren. Grandma took us on yearly trips for new winter coats and shoes. Staying at her house was always a treat, especially in the morning when we were given the choice of a plethera of wonderful sugary cereals. Grandma aways bought the cereal packed in the small individual-sized boxes. I will never forget the time Grandma had us use a tube of toothpaste she had brought back from Japan or some other country. It tasted terrible. Grandma had an old clothes basket full of toys for the very little children to play with. Watching some old film footage of Sarah and me as babies at Grandma's, I realized that my children now play with those same toys I am shown chewing on in those old films. I just have to add this: A couple of years ago, Luke and I set out to convert those old films to video so we could all enjoy them. One of the scenes that sticks out firmly in my mind is that of Grandpa and the four girls and a pogostick....Grandma on the pogostick. This gave me a new and charming look at my young Grandma, one that is endearing.

Probably one of the fondest memories any of us grandchildren have is seeing all the stockings on Christmas day hanging from Grandma's mantle, each one lovingly hand made by Grandma. The stockings were hung by family, growing each year as grandchildren and great-grandchildren were added. And Grandpa's stocking hung every year faithfully beside Grandma's, surrounded by a legacy...every stocking a representation of a life springing from the love of two people, and each life touched in a very tender way by those two people.

I'm glad a young Betty was bold enough to say "yes" to her Walter on that day. It makes a great story. The love that grew from two has grown to nearly 100. It was really amazing to look around me on that day we said goodbye to Grandma and see the beautiful legacy she left behind. Hearing some of the familiar memories from grandchildren was a wonderful way to celebrate Grandma's life. We laughed and smiled, remembering the great times at Grandma's house.

Towards the end of the service, one more memory was shared, one that I had heard before but had forgotten. When Grandpa was nearing his final moments, Grandma leaned in to him and said tenderly, "Walk slowly, I'll be coming after you." The picture is fixed in my mind: Grandpa strolling slowly along, occasionally looking over his shoulder for a glimspe of Grandma, and then finally, her coming from behind, slipping her hand into his, resting a weary head on his familiar shoulder....she's finally caught up.