More on Emotions...

While we're on the subject of gushing emotions, I was chatting with a dear friend on the phone yesterday. She told me about working on her professional website, adding a ton of heartfelt information (she's a professional counselor who works mainly with children) and then losing it all in an instant. Anyone else have a story like this? I have a few...that sinking feeling in your gut, the sense of denial. She walked around in a daze for a while, mumbling words of unbelief and pounding on soft objects. We all need a little bit of therapy to work out these kind of emotions. I laughed with her a knowing laugh.

And I loved it...totally. I loved the emotion and the realness and how it grips us and how we learn to feel it and move through it. I have not met a person who cannot relate in someway.

It's easy to let emotions overwhelm us. There was a time when mine ruled supreme. Time and growth teach us that we need equanimity. Emotions are wonderful and natural and legitimate, even necessary, to the human experience. We can't deny them, we can only learn from them and let them change us and motivate us.

Next time you feel a strong emotion, take the time be present. Feel it, be mindful of it, try moving through it with grace. It takes practice...lots of practice. Positive emotions can be wonderful. Negative emotions can be motivating. They both are filled with energy that can fuel change.

Thankful Thursday: Blank Pages

A few days ago my oldest daughter, Sophie, walked past me with a funny smile. She was holding a totally white piece of printer paper in her hand. What struck me about her smile was that is seemed totally real, unforced, in fact the opposite, the kind of smile that breaks out from an uncontrollable burst of happiness. She looked straight at me and blurted out with the smile, "A piece of blank paper makes me feel so happy!"

I love that...totally. love. it. Have you ever felt that way, I mean so happy about something that you just had to let it pour out? I'm feeling happy about blank pieces of paper today too.

Here's to 30 days worth.

30 posts in 30 days

My hubby is starting his master's degree program this week so I decided to throw myself into a new endeavor too. Not quite so industrious but notable none the less, for me. I'm dedicating myself to a month of daily blogging with hopes of creating a more consistent routine in my writing...and just for fun. My hopes are to blog both here and at A Path to My Woods daily during the month of November. I know it's a challenge, but one I'm looking forward to.

In light of a personal pursuit for inspiration in my daily life and in my art, I've decided to focus my blogs in that direction for the month. My Woods is, of course, mostly a picture of my family and home life, while A Path to My Woods is the inner journey, both wrapped up in my passion for living artfully. They are intertwined, and yet I felt compelled to make two separate blogs, mostly for my own exploration.

Please come back and read, my friends. I love your input...humor my questions and inspire me!

Letting it go....

Most Sunday afternoons I enjoy a few uninterrupted hours of artist time, sitting in a local coffee shop with a latte and my laptop or at the park across the way writing in a favorite quiet place. After two refreshing hours yesterday I was prepared to come home and write a blog about impermanence and detachment from my creative work...but only out of necessity. Sudden horror popped onto my screen as I was organizing some files from two book projects I'm working on. The message said something about a system crash and then everything locked up. Calmly rebooting my computer, I reopened my SD card files to find all except the one I was trying to delete to be gone, gone, gone. I slumped in my seat, cheeks flushed, tears welling up.

My first thought was rush home to Luke (computer tech hero on more than one occasion of my technical blunder) and wail out the proportion of my loss. Then, deep breath and self pep talk: "Get a hold of yourself, Ruth. Writing is a process. What you lose in content you have gained in personal growth. It's okay. Let go." I sat for a moment and pondered the inward journey and evolution all those vanished words walked me through. I felt them inside me, still transforming me, felt gratitude for the experience in the midst of loss. Then I went home and said, "Help!"
Yes, my hubby saved me again. I'm always amazed at how he can pull lost files out of thin air.

What a wonderful experience to be able to feel and let go. Of course, this was only my writing, not a loved one or limb. I can't say how I would respond in a different circumstance. But little by little we grow through the small experiences to reach a place of equanimity and surrender to the beauty of what is, embracing life as an opportunity to grow through it all.

Thankful Thursday: Music and Miniture Violinists

For the past month or so Sarah has been voicing her birthday wish list. She turned 5 this week. The list has remained surprisingly short and to be honest, quite impressive: a xylophone, a violin and Minnie Mouse slippers. Okay, I cannot tell you how much hearing my child express definitively that she wants a violin and a xylophone makes me wants to just gush all over the place. My mind immediately flashes forward to a beautiful young woman standing in a long black dress, bow in hand, accompanied by a full orchestra....or maybe chiming in with the percussionists in the background. I'm guessing she would have outgrown the slippers by then.

So, here is my little violinist at 5 years...now to find a teacher....

To celebrate her birthday we went to a high school marching band contest at the football field. It was a blast. I played percussion from fifth grade through high school and have an insatiable affinity for a really good street beat, so seeing my children sitting on the bleachers joyfully taking in the whole experience was a thrill. They were smiley and fidgety and obviously being effected by the beat. Sophie now tells me she plans to play the drums and Sarah of course, is set on the xylophone.

So, black tie orchestra or marching band, I have big dreams of enjoying my children make music as they grow. For now, I'm happy to add a lot of banging on the drumset and a squeaky violin to the living room guitar and piano conciertos I've already been awed by. :)

Thankful Thursday: On Art and Blogging...

Sorry about the blogging hiatus. I've been spending the last month in pursuit of, well, myself. Somewhere around my 34th birthday a disconnect occurred. Whether it was the idea of moving deeper into my thirties, my adorable husband hinting at middle-agedness or the realization that ten years speeds by after you pass your second decade (I mean, I just turned 20, right?)...well whatever, it sent me reeling for a few weeks. I still feel really young. In spite of the fact that my family has grown exponentially by 1 about every 2 years for the past decade, I am reasonably sane and optimistic about life. Most of the time I love being a mother, staying home with my kids and artistic endeavors. However, occasionally something pushes me over the edge (usually it has something to do with the moon phases) and I start to wallow in discontent.

I know you're starting to wonder what this has to do with art and blogging. I'm getting there. It's in the rescue. Sometimes we can willfully pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and sometimes we just need inspiration. Sometimes we need a friend or a word or a kick in the keister. Okay, in desperate situations, a handful of dark chocolate will suffice, but that's only a quick fix. We need each other.

Inspiration. A breath of fresh air. A reminder of who I am, of what sparks that innate flame that is Ruthie. Why am I moved by art? Why am I passionate about waking up and experiencing life? Why is creativity my path? These are the things that I need to come back to, what brings me home. So I wander along the river where I spend my Sunday afternoons, with notebook, i-pod and whatever book I'm ingesting. Then, whether it be some dear friend who feels that same spark or a kindred spirit I don't even know, some one is there...to inspire and to ignite. Wow. You dear ones will never know how I need you... please keep creating, inspiring and living artful lives.

And, impasse cleared, I'm back to blogging, hoping to bring a little inspiration to the world myself. Don't forget to check out A Path To My Woods too, which is basically my blog about the path...my spiritual journey and all the questions and ideas overflowing along the way.

On a side note...if you love Smallville or if you've never seen it, take a minute to check out Allison Mack's blog. I stumbled across it in a moment of fate and have been inspired and encouraged by the heart of this young woman and her passion for art and all things creative and compassionate.