Saying Goodbye

Tuesday, January 3, my Grandma passed away. She was 84 years old, with a family of 4 daughters, 22 grandchildren, 40 great-grand children and even a few great-great grandchildren. My sister Sarah wrote a lovely post about our Grandmother over at her blog, Finding Time. But I have to add my thoughts and memories as well.

Grandma lived the sort of life that leaves a lot of stories behind...really great stories. When my family and I visited Grandma, particularly the last few times we were able to spend with her, we made it a point to ask questions and draw out some of these wonderful memories and the history of her life.

Here are some of my favorite stories and a few of my own memories of Grandma and Grandpa:

As a teenager at a Christmas party, Grandma noticed Grandpa sitting under the mistletoe, plopped herself on his lap and gave him a kiss. Grandpa was 18, Grandma, 16, when Grandpa came to visit Grandma for lunch at school. He proposed, "Betty, let's go get married." Grandma only insisted that she go home and change into a different dress. It was April 1st, 1937. Walter and Betty were married. Months later they announced their nuptuals simply by leaving their marriage license on the kitchen counter for Grandma's mother to find. My mother was born in 1939, then a set of twin girls and another little sister followed.

Grandpa later became a builder. Grandma earned her real estate license and worked along side him. Grandpa built the whole housing developement where he also built a home for Grandma and his girls...the house we all know as "Grandma's house." They welcomed so many into their home, friends, family and even strangers. In the 1970's they opened their home to a family of refugees from Vietnam. The Pham's became a part of our family, too.

Grandpa also loved to fly. In their little plane they would travel all over the country with friends. Grandpa took groups of disabled young people for plane rides. He would also take grandchildren for wonderful joyrides in his plane! I only remember flying with Grandpa one time. Grandpa passed away when I was seven. His memory was always a strong presence at Grandma's house, though. His beloved little cat, Nemo, wondered that house for years after Grandpa was gone. Airplane mobiles hung in the back office, a constant reminder of Grandpa's love for flight. Momentos from Grandma and Grandpa's world travels were displayed throughout the house. We grandchildren were always anxious to see what treasures they had returned with for us. I always loved looking at a picture that my mother had hung on our wall at home of Grandma and Grandpa posing side by side in front of the Sphinx in Egypt.

After Grandpa died, Grandma, ever faithful to her Walter, never remarried, but lived for her daughters and grandchildren. Grandma took us on yearly trips for new winter coats and shoes. Staying at her house was always a treat, especially in the morning when we were given the choice of a plethera of wonderful sugary cereals. Grandma aways bought the cereal packed in the small individual-sized boxes. I will never forget the time Grandma had us use a tube of toothpaste she had brought back from Japan or some other country. It tasted terrible. Grandma had an old clothes basket full of toys for the very little children to play with. Watching some old film footage of Sarah and me as babies at Grandma's, I realized that my children now play with those same toys I am shown chewing on in those old films. I just have to add this: A couple of years ago, Luke and I set out to convert those old films to video so we could all enjoy them. One of the scenes that sticks out firmly in my mind is that of Grandpa and the four girls and a pogostick....Grandma on the pogostick. This gave me a new and charming look at my young Grandma, one that is endearing.

Probably one of the fondest memories any of us grandchildren have is seeing all the stockings on Christmas day hanging from Grandma's mantle, each one lovingly hand made by Grandma. The stockings were hung by family, growing each year as grandchildren and great-grandchildren were added. And Grandpa's stocking hung every year faithfully beside Grandma's, surrounded by a legacy...every stocking a representation of a life springing from the love of two people, and each life touched in a very tender way by those two people.

I'm glad a young Betty was bold enough to say "yes" to her Walter on that day. It makes a great story. The love that grew from two has grown to nearly 100. It was really amazing to look around me on that day we said goodbye to Grandma and see the beautiful legacy she left behind. Hearing some of the familiar memories from grandchildren was a wonderful way to celebrate Grandma's life. We laughed and smiled, remembering the great times at Grandma's house.

Towards the end of the service, one more memory was shared, one that I had heard before but had forgotten. When Grandpa was nearing his final moments, Grandma leaned in to him and said tenderly, "Walk slowly, I'll be coming after you." The picture is fixed in my mind: Grandpa strolling slowly along, occasionally looking over his shoulder for a glimspe of Grandma, and then finally, her coming from behind, slipping her hand into his, resting a weary head on his familiar shoulder....she's finally caught up.

Our Growing Family

Sorry, everybody, for the very long pause! We had a nice Thanksgiving with Luke's family here at home. A couple of days after the holiday I started feeling pretty sick...thought maybe I had some bad turkey or something. Turns out, we will be welcoming a new little brother or sister to our family around the beginning of August. We were so surprised, I'm not kidding...I took five pregnancy tests. (is that denile?) Well, as we adjust to the idea and the changes it will bring to our family, I am trying to get through a really tough time of morning sickness (heightened by a wonderful round of the stomach flu running through our house last weekend). The reality of a new little person is still trying to work it's way into my world. I was very content and happy with our beautiful three. Now I am working on embracing (with grace, joy and thankfulness) the change of plans and the little blessing that God has dropped into our lives!

Anyway, the kids wanted me to announce the arrival of another new member of our family, Charlie Thomas. Charlie's a hamster and we adopted him in October. He has quickly wormed his way into all of our hearts as the sweetest, most gentle and best hamster in the whole world. I have never met a more congenial hamster. ( :

The Path to My Woods--my Xanga

In case you haven't checked it out, I have made following my blogging life a little more complicated for you ( : If you haven't walked on the path to my woods, you might enjoy following the posts over there too. Just click here:
http://www.xanga.com/thinkerbel

The Amazing Dish Machine

For my entire married life I have washed dishes by hand, taking, as I see it, valuable time at the sink that I could be spending with my family. (Besides, does anyone really enjoy this tedious task?) Many times I have used the dishes as a way of burning off steam and having some time to think through some frustrations or just bang around a few cups and bowls. But I am in no way attached to this sort of anger management therapy. So a few months ago, my husband bought me a cute little countertop dishwasher as a birthday present.

During the days we waited for our new servant to be delivered, I talked to the kids about how wonderful it would be to put the dishes in the machine and let it do the work so I would have more time to spend with them. My son came home from school on the day of the delivery and upon seeing the dishwasher exclaimed excitedly, with sparkling eyes, "Your dishwasher is here??!! Yay!, now you have more time to spend with us!"

But today I had to take a minute to jot down my older daughter's take on the wonderful new machine, after overhearing a conversation with a friend playing at our house:
Peach: "Sometimes I help my mom with work around the house."
Friend: "Yeah, sometimes I help my mom with the dishes."
Peach: "I don't because my mom doesn't do the work. She has an Amazing Dish Machine who does the work for her! So she has time to spend with us!"

What a refreshing thought. A little reminder not to take forgranted our Amazing Machines that do so much work for us! So, may we take joy in the few short minutes it takes to load the washing machine or empty the dishwasher or toss a few ingredients in the slow-cooker. (Now I just need an automatic sock folder!) ( :

Good Friends

If you have read much of what I post you know already that I am a bit sentimental. I have good reason to be, because I have been blessed time and again with the dearest of friends and a precious family.

I recieved an email yesterday from my college roommate, Kristi, announcing her recent engagement. It is amazing how a flood of warm feelings and smiles can overwhelm you from just a few written words and a picture of a good friend's smiling face. I just want to take a minute to say this young lady is one of the sweetest and most gentle souls I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. And I am thankful for the time we shared as roommates. I remember the night of my first date with Luke, the man who would eventually be my husband. I returned to our dorm room all filled up with a gush of excitement and feelings, plopped down on her bed and poured out my heart to her. Throughout those months she was a patient ear to my "gushing," in the whirlwind of falling
in love. I think that's one reason I enjoyed reading her email so much. Hmmmn. Life is so much sweeter with dear friends who can celebrate with us and cry with us and laugh with us. Today I'm celebrating! Congratulations, Kri!

Peach and Daisy

Just had to post these pictures of my gals! Several months ago, my oldest daughter began calling herself Peach and her little sister Daisy. It's always fun to hear them playing and seeing little sister responding to her new nickname almost as quickly as her given name.

Lesson 2: Listen More, Talk Less

As a zealous, somewhat long-winded 19-year-old, I was given the unexpected opportunity to be camp counselor to a cabin full of teenage girls at a district church camp. Being my enthusiastic self, I was very excited to be well recieved and liked by the girls in my cabin and took every opportunity given to pour out my words of wisdom gained by my few years of life experience. Looking back, I'm guessing that I gained more from my orations than the girls. In fact, I'm willing to bet that I really did take away a greater life lesson than any one of those gals who sat figiting, counting ceiling tiles waiting for me to finish talking.
One young lady in my cabin stood out from among the rest and made a lasting impression on me as a person. One evening as I was out walking by myself she came up to me and asked if she could talk with me. Of course, I was expecting her to ask me advise or something like that. Well, I was surprised when she said to me in a very gentle way, " Ruth, I really like you, but you talk too much. You need to learn when you've said enough." Those may not be her exact words but they were her exact sentiments. Constructive critism is a tough pill to swallow. Having someone point out your faults really hurts. But this young lady, in her boldness and honesty, endeared herself to me forever because of her wisdom and gentleness. Her words opened up a whole new area of growth in me....learning to embrace a gentle and quiet spirit, learning to listen, to think and be wise about my words and to say more by saying less. Thanks, Jill. Your kindness has left an imprint on my life and I can never forget you!

"Our 24 Family Ways"

Yesterday my six -year-old son asked me, "Mom, do you think you could make me a list of my jobs so I could do them without having to be asked?" What more need I say? It is really a blessing to see such signs of maturity in our children.

For anyone interested in some great reading on the topic of parenting, may I suggest anything written by Sally and Clay Clarkson? I have been encouraged and equipped by their books. My children and I are particularly enjoying their Our 24 Family Ways color book right now. We are reading and discussing each "family way" and corresponding picture, working on memorizing each and applying them to our daily lives. I have seen some great results in all of us!

Lesson 1: Make Your Bed

After graduating from high school I attended a one-year Bible Institute before moving on to college. I have many great memories from that year: good friends, fun times and some heartbreakers too. But I have to admit that the one item of advice that left the deepest impression on me that year was given by an elderly lady named Eldine Shaw. Her words still come to mind nearly every morning when I rise and have taught me diligence in everyday menial tasks and to take pride in my home. She repeated the mantra to us insistently, printing it into our subconscious: "Make your bed everyday out of self-respect." I admit that occasionally a day goes by that I fail in this minute detail. The lesson, however, remains: diligence, self-discipline and self-respect begin with small things.

Invaluable Lessons for an Interesting Journey

Life is an interesting journey. Along the way many experiences and people leave indelible impressions on our character, challenging us to grow, changing us forever. I have been blessed in my time to have known a few people who, most unwittingly I think, made that sort of lasting mark on me. I mean those sort of individuals who come into your life, even for a very short time (usually so) and leave knowing little of the remarkable imprint they have left behind. It is amazing to me how a life is molded by these experiences, a kind word, a thoughtful act, a bit of wisdom, a little constructive criticism...yikes! I am thankful for the experiences and the people who have helped to shape my life. So the next few posts will be dedicated to reminising some highlights that I consider noteworthy.